It Takes Two for a Massacre
by Dead Chick Walking
Summary: Gaz gets an invite to Iggins's birthday party. She throws it away but through a series of Dib related events, her father finds it. He announces that she must go. And he puts her in a dress. R&R Please. Hints of ZAGR and ZADF. -FINISHED-
1. Black and White Dress

**It Takes Two for a Massacre.**

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**Summary;;** Gaz is forced to go to Iggins's birthday party. On the way there she meets Zim, and decides to bring him with her to ruin the party. Hilarity and gore ensues. A little ZAGR and some ZADF. 

**Author's Notes;;** This is my first IZ story. Flames will be used to roast my little sister (yum.) Reviews should be a little helpful. And...I don't have a beta so my grammer won't be too terribly good. The story is based off the song 'Happy Birthday' by The Birthday Massacre.

**Disclaimer;;** I am merely a lowly fan attempting to share my demented imaginings. I own nothing.

--Dead Chick Walking (DCW)

_Delve into the demented scrawlings of a fourteen year old girl..._

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**Chapter One;; Black and White Dress**

Gaz Membrane stared at the tacky colorful invitation with sneering distaste. It proclaimed loudly that, 'You're Invited!" The creepy little gothic girl handled the card gingerly as if it could infect her with the happy germ at a moment's notice. Her lip curled and she opened the bright invitation. The girl wasn't actually interested in the contents, but she didn't have anything else to do. Gaz opened it and stared in shock at what it said. "Iggins?" she said in a voice half way between disgust and disbelief. "How could he think I'd…"

Her voice dwindled as her amber eyes saw the note at the bottom of the card. _Dear Gaz,_ it read, _normally I wouldn't invite you, but I have the new _Blazing Mongoose 3 _game and if you're REALLY nice, maybe I'll let you play a level -Iggins._ Gaz growled angrily, who did he think he was? With a single smooth motion she crumpled the invitation and threw it in the trash can with one hand; with the other she grabbed a soda. In the short time it had taken to perform those actions she had forgotten about stupid Iggens. Taking a sip of her soda she headed to her room to play _Blazing Mongoose 2_.

-----

"I'll find you, Pirate Trash Gremlin!" exclaimed a boy in a black trench coat. Dib had read about this strangely specific gremlin on the internet late last night. Apparently they only lived in the trash of paranormal investigators, sabotaged paranormal studies, and were the allies of aliens. This, of course, must be the reason Dib couldn't defeat Zim. The gremlins were helping him.

In his anticipation of finding the PTGs, as he called them, Dib plunged his hands straight into the garbage can, not even bothering with protective gloves. Papers, half eaten food, and a couple of forks with what looked frighteningly like dried blood caked on them. But no Pirate Trash Gremlin. Not even a regular Trash Gremlin. "Damn." Dib muttered and began to scoop the refuse from his search back into the trash can. All save for one thing.

It was a simple thing, and Dib didn't even notice it. It had been flung from the trash can in the beginning of his fevered searching, and had landed on a stack of papers meant for Professor Membrane himself. It was slightly crumpled, on corner was soggy, and there was a stain on the R.S.V.P. number. But it was still very obviously a birthday invitation.

-----

As the preeminent professor of basically the entire world, Prof. Membrane was a busy man. He rarely spent time with his children and it showed. After receiving a phone call from the skool councilor that Gaz had yet again beaten up a student two years older and three times bigger than herself, Prof. Membrane had decided to take a more active role in his daughter's life. However, it was very difficult to do, since he had never done it before.

The tall man in a white lab coat swept into the kitchen; which for some reason smelled as if someone had been digging through the trash. A stack of papers was waiting for him on the kitchen table; he had been expecting them for a long time. What Prof. Membrane didn't expect was to see the birthday invitation.

"This is just what she needs," Membrane mused quietly, "to get out and play with some young children of her own age." He carefully tucked it into the pocket of his coat, gathered the rest of the papers, and left to do something that would somehow benefit or blowup all of mankind.

-----

"Dad. This is humiliating."

"Now, daughter, you're going to a party. You must dress nicely."

"I hate this dress-

"You need to be more social and-

"I hate it with a passion that-

"Start getting along with-

"Burns hotter than the flames in hell!" Gaz finished. She didn't scream, didn't even raise her voice, but the cold way she said it somehow over-road her father's speech. The two Membranes were standing in Gaz's room, which was really quite scary but not as much as you would think(the Johnny Depp poster took away from the creepy factor).

"Gazlene!" Prof. Membrane gasped out her full name as he heard her swear. Hell wasn't really a bad swear, but he was surprised to hear her say it. "You are a little girl and should not swear."

"I'm thirteen," Gaz retorted, "I swear all the time, and don't ever call me Gazlene again, Dad." It was hard to say what she felt more of, humiliation or blinding rage. The young girl was clad in a dress. Yes, an actual dress. It was black, with a white scarf-like collar. The shoulder was adorned with a white rose and a white ribbon flowed from the fake flower to her waist, which was girdled by another white sash. To complete the look she was wearing Mary-Janes. "I hate this." she stated once more.

Finally Prof. Membrane put his hands on his hips and looked sternly at his daughter. In this position he actually looked like a parent, instead of an inattentive babysitter. Gaz was certain this was why she didn't doom him on the spot. That and she couldn't doom her own dad, that was against the rules. "You will wear this, and you will go to the party."

"Fine." Gaz retorted crossing her bare arms in front of her. She had retained her skull necklace and her father hadn't been able to talk her out of refraining from her customary heaps of eyeliner and mascara. The young girl looked very conflicted, like a cute little goth chick stuffed into prep clothes. Which she was.

"Good," Membrane said, proud at his incredible parenting skills, "have a nice time at the party." He told Gaz as she walked out of her room and toward the door.

"Oh," the professor exclaimed, "I almost forgot. Have your brother walk you." The words reached Gaz's ears right as she touched the bat. Dib moaned, but began walking toward his sister knowing that resistance was futile.

"Damn." The two siblings said at the same time.

A stern but slightly distracted voice echoed through the house, "And if I hear either of you swear again, you'll be used as test subjects for Super Asparagus."

-----


	2. I Hear Footsteps

**It Takes Two for a Massacre.

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**Author Notes;;** -gasp- People actually like the fic! I had my doubts, but every time I check my e-mail I get another review! And no flames yet! OMG! Oh and sorry I haven't updated, schools, they just don't understand the importance of ZIM!

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**Chapter Two;;** **I Hear Footsteps**

Dib and Gaz Membrane were walking down the street toward Iggins's house. At first glance they appeared to be a kind older brother spending time with his cute little sister. After a closer look however one could easily see the scowl Gaz was giving the unsuspecting sidewalk, and the nerve that twitched in her head. Dib was too wrapped up in his paranormal monologue to notice the growing anger in his younger sister.

Gaz was definitely angry, although livid would be a good word to describe the emotion she was feeling. She was used to wearing heavy combat boots, not shiny Mary-Janes. The dress was too tight and she wanted to bite the fake rose off of her shoulder. On top of all of this, there was Dib. He was going on about who knows (or cares) what, right in her ear.

"And so," Dib continued his speech oblivious to the fact that his doom was close at hand, "I've decided that Zim must have somehow warned the gremlins, using advanced alien technology. If only I could figure out-"

"Dib." Gaz's voice was soft and deadly sinister as she gave her brother his first warning.

"-because obviously it would have to be highly sophisticated to penetrate all that garbage. So, next time I sneak into Zim's house I'm going to check his trash and-"

"Dib." The teenage girl growled a little bit louder.

"The only problem is if the Pirate Trash Gremlins find out about my plan. They're sneaky so I'll have to use a clever disguise. I already tried the mailman, but an Avon lady might-"

"Dib!" Gaz snapped at him, her voice was barely louder than normal but it held a note of command, "If you do not stop talking this instant you will be condemned to a pit of eternally engulfing torment and misery where you will beg, _beg_, for me to kill you."

The raven haired boy drifted into a fearful silence. Dib sent a timid glance toward his sister, and as he did so he noticed that there was no Gameslave in her hands. No electronic sounds drifted through the air alongside the tapping of buttons, it was like the world had suddenly come to an immediate stop. "Why…?" he ventured hesitantly.

Gaz looked up at her brother who immediately cringed expecting her to hit him. All she did however was give a small sigh and say bitterly, "Dad said I wouldn't need it. He said I'd have fun without it." Her teeth ground together angrily and she lashed out furiously at an unoffending telephone pole. There was a resounding crack and when Dib stopped to look curiously at it he saw a large imprint of broken wood where Gaz's fist had slammed into it.

"Well struck, little Gaz!" came a loud sneering voice, "Although next time try aiming for your brother's _enormous_ head! It should be a pathetically easy target."

"Zim." Dib spat as he turned around to face his arch-enemy. The young paranormal investigator didn't have any other enemies, but 'arch-enemy' just sounded way cooler. The poorly disguised alien sauntered up to the pale boy with a crooked smirk on his face. "What are you doing here?"

Zim's zipper-toothed smile grew wider, "Foolish human," he replied in a mock sweet voice, "can you not comprehend that Zim merely wants to chat? You should be honored that the all-powerful ZIM would even consider exchanging words with such a _filthy_ human worm-baby." Dib gave a grunt of disbelief,

"Yeah, whatever, Zim. I'm on to you though, you and your little gremlin friends won't get away with this!" The boy proclaimed triumphantly as he pointed an accusing finger at the green-skinned alien. Zim squinted one eye at him, which was the human equivalent of a raised eyebrow.

"Gre-whats?" Zim asked, genuinely confused, "Have you the brain worms, Dib-thing?"

Dib scowled at his adversary. How dumb did Zim think he was? It was painfully obvious that he and the Pirate Trash Gremlins were working together. "I've had enough of your stalling!" Dib proclaimed. With that brave and fairly stupid statement, the boy launched himself toward onto Zim. The alien was unprepared for the sudden weight and he fell backwards. The two rolled into the street, though both of them quickly regained their feet with cat-like reflexes.

Suddenly Zim extracted an odd looking ray gun from a previously concealed pocket in his Irken uniform. With a triumphant grin the alien bore down upon Dib who backed up warily. The back of Dib's foot hit something hard; glancing back he saw a rather conveniently placed fire hydrant. "Any last words Dib-monster?" Zim asked with a sinister smirk.

"Yes, actually," Dib replied with a smirk to match, "You need a bath." Zim paused for a moment trying to figure out what the boy's meaning was. Dib took a deep breath and hit the fire hydrant on one of the side valves. To his shock the cap popped off and water gushed full force at Zim who was thrown off his feet by the pressure. As Dib stared at the alien writhing in pain from the water, he marveled in the fact that he had actually been able to knock the cap off of the valve. He had gotten the idea off of a cartoon so he wasn't certain that it would work.

Zim's skin hissed loudly when the water hit him, he barrel-rolled out of the stream of the water and stood up. He made a vain endeavor to get some of the water off of him and screamed, "I'll get you for that Dib! No one douses ZIM with cursed earthen water and gets away with it!" Then he stooped and picked up the wig which had been knocked off his head. Ironically enough the wig hadn't gotten any water on it and he placed it on his head before running off down the street in a quest to find something absorbent to dry off with. Little lines of smoke streamed off of the green alien as he ran.

Dib laughed as his enemy ran off, one of those triumphant hero laughs that he had been working on. "Did you see that Gaz?" he asked still laughing, "Gaz?" he repeated when he didn't get a response. Turning around he saw her leaning against the remains of the telephone pole she had decimated. Gaz's face was blank of any kind of emotion, not even dry amusement like usual.

"Go away Dib," she commanded imperiously. Dib raised his hand in protest but Gaz cut him off, "I mean it, Dib. Your face is going to make me sick if I have to look at it anymore. I'll walk to Iggins's myself." Dib still looked like he wanted to say something but before he did Gaz took a few steps toward him and grabbed his shirt. The teenage boy winced in anticipation of a blow that never came. Instead of hitting him, Gaz twisted her wrist and ripped Dib's shirt clean off of him.

"Um…Gaz?" He asked looking disturbed.

"Go away." The purple haired girl reiterated, this time there was a glint of steel in her smooth amber eyes. Dib didn't move an inch. With a slight roll of her eyes Gaz aimed and then kicked her brother in the shin. Dib let out a yelp of surprise and grabbed his leg. "You're lucky I didn't have my boots on." His sister informed him.

"Geez, Gaz!" Dib gasped in pain as he clutched the spot where she had kicked him. A smirk played on her lips as the goth girl prepared to kick him again. Before she did Dib bolted down the sidewalk, heading for their house.

Gaz watched him until he was out of sight and said, "That's what I thought." Clutching his torn shirt in her left hand the girl began walking in the direction Zim had run.

-----

Zim had managed to steal a roll of toilet paper from a gas station bathroom and was sitting on the sidewalk curb attempting to dry himself with the flimsy paper products. It wasn't working very well as the toilet paper didn't absorb hardly any water because it was so thin. You know how cheap gas station toilet paper is.

This was how Gaz found him: smoking slightly, shivering, and making a valiant but futile attempt to get dry. Zim was too preoccupied with the pain to notice the shadow cast over him by the taller girl. Taking this advantage Gaz threw Dib's shirt at the alien's head momentarily blinding him. Assuming an evil look Gaz walked in front of Zim as he struggled to remove the navy blue smiley t-shirt. When Zim was freed of the warm, slightly smothering cotton he found himself staring straight at Gaz. "Gah!" he squeaked in surprise. "Dib-sister, why have you followed Zim?"

Gaz scowled at him in annoyance, "I have a name, it's Gaz. Use it." Then she gestured toward the t-shirt, "Dry off with that." It was about as close as she came to being nice or considerate, a terse order with a note of disdain. Zim picked up the torn fabric and examined it,

"This is the Dib-stink's shirt." He stated wrinkling his eyes in disgust since he lacked a nose.

"Yeah," Gaz replied shortly. The badly disguised alien continued to stare at the shirt, smoking slightly. "Well?" Gaz snapped after staring at him for thirty seconds.

"What is Zim supposed to do?" he asked slightly confused.

The purple haired teenager rolled her eyes, "Dry off." Zim stared at the shirt with distaste, "Yes, Zim, it's Dib's shirt. You can either burn to death or wipe off with Dib's shirt. Your choice." A frown twisted onto her face as she glared at the alien. She was beginning to have second thoughts about helping him. With deliberate slowness, Zim began to use the dark blue t-shirt to dry the water from his skin and uniform.

The shirt was fine quality cotton and quickly absorbed the water. Zim gave a sigh of relief as he gently wiped his antenna's clear of the burning liquid. "What now?" he asked hesitatingly turning toward his benefactor. Gaz let her breath out making a slight 'pfft' sound of laughter and sat down next to the alien. "How must I dispose of this _filthy_ earth garment?" he pressed her.

"However you want to." she responded with a shrug. Zim gave a wicked grin and sliced his sharp claws through the fabric as though he was cutting through his enemy. He shredded the t-shirt until it was nothing more than a few scraps. Gaz raised an eyebrow at his ferocious annihilation of the shirt. Zim was as absorbed with clawing the shirt into tiny pieces as she got with her Gameslave.

"Where is your dim-witted sibling unit?" Zim asked curiously, Gaz shrugged in answer, "How did you rid yourself of the Dib-monster?" The Irken leaned forward anxious to hear of any weakness Dib might have.

"I kicked him into submission after I stole his shirt."

Zim laughed in a way that could only be described as maniacal. Then he made a mental note to invest in a pair of steel toed boots. "Why did you steal his shirt?" he questioned.

Gaz rolled her eyes once more, "So you could use it, stupid." Zim nodded and the two sat quietly next to each other for a few minutes. Gaz crossed her ankles together and tapped the heel of her left shoe on the asphalt. Iggins's birthday party started in five minutes, but she'd much rather stay with Zim, or anyone else for that matter. Truthfully though Zim wasn't too bad when he wasn't spasmodically trying to prove his normalcy or take over the world. He also seemed to recognize her need for silence which was something her brother never could seem to manage. "Zim?"

"Eh?" he jumped slightly obviously absorbed in his own thoughts when she had spoken. The little alien turned to look at Gaz.

"You probably have some destructive alien weaponry right?" she asked him making a vague gesture toward his Irken uniform.

Zim's eyes went wide with suspicion, "I am normal!" he proclaimed, "Why would I have weapons?"

Gaz laughed a little, "No, seriously, you just pulled out a laser a few minutes ago. Got anything else?"

"Maaaaaybe…" Zim replied drawing the word comically. "Why?"

The teenage girl ignored his question and instead countered with one of her own, "Wanna have some fun?"

Zim's brow furrowed in obvious confusion and his bottom lip poked out slightly, "Do you mock Zim?" he demanded with an angry edge in his voice.

Gaz gave an irritated sigh and said, "No stupid. Look, I'm mad. You're mad too. You have weapons, and I know a place we can use them. If we work together it could be good for both of us." Zim stared at the ground and considered Gaz's offer. When he looked up he was smiling and he announced,

"Your proposal has much promise, Gaz-human. We shall be a dangerous team of…danger…bringing…um, doom. Yes, DOOM!" Zim declared triumphantly and stood up. After a moment's pause he extended a hand toward Gaz.

"What are you doing?" she asked staring at the gloved hand with skeptical disbelief.

Zim leaned forward a bit more and gestured his hand pointedly. "I have noticed that the male of your species frequently offers assistance to what are termed 'ladies.' I am merely making an attempt at politeness."

The purple haired girl merely sat on the sidewalk and stared at the hand that was dangling in front of her. Zim gazed at her expectantly. Gaz's left eyebrow raised ever so slightly. Was he serious? He seemed sincere, but it was just such a ridiculous concept for Gaz to wrap her mind around. Zim was trying to be a gentleman? For a split second she wondered if she should look toward the sky for flying pigs. Two silent minutes had passed and Zim was starting to look a bit frightened.

Then Gaz reached up her hand, and Zim's clawed fingers closed around her own small white ones. The alien began to pull up to help her to her feet when Gaz jerked on his arm pulling herself up and simultaneously throwing him onto the ground. Putting a hand on her hip she glared at him, "I am _not_ a lady. Don't let the dress fool you."

Zim got to his feet rubbing his elbow which he had used to break the fall, "Understood." he replied cautiously. Without a backwards glance Gaz began walking down the sidewalk toward Iggins's house. Zim hesitated.

"C'mon, we're already late." Her voice drifted back to him as he stood in the middle of the empty sidewalk. Zim hurried forward until he was walking alongside Gaz.

"Now, Gaz-human, what is this place of carnage you mentioned?"

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**Author's Notes;;** Ok, so tell me if there was too much OOC. Zim is a hard little alien dude to write for! I just get a little 'awwwww' moment thinking of him trying to help Gaz to her feet, then I get an 'omfg lol!' moment when she kicks his butt. Anyway...next chapter will hopefully be out Wednesday. R&R or um...Zim and Gaz will bring danger...um...DOOM! To you that is. 


	3. I'm a Murder Tramp

**It Takes Two for a Massacre.**

**Author Notes;;** Chapter 2 didn't get as many reviews as chapter 1. Oh well, still way more reviews than I'm used to. Warning: this chapter contains graphically descriptive violence.

**Chapter Three;;** **I'm a Murder Tramp

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"Are you ready?" Gaz asked her partner. Zim scoffed at her foolish question and waved a negligent hand in the direction of the door they were standing in front of.

"Zim is always in readiness to prove his superiority over the pitiful human worm babies," the alien declared disdainfully. Gaz gave him a cold look reminding him who he was talking to. "Except you." Zim amended grudgingly.

Taking this as somewhat of an apology, Gaz rapped on the door of Iggins's house. A woman with a large fake smile opened the door; she had bright gaudy lips and blonde hair that showed dirty brown at the roots. Gaz assumed this to be Iggins's mother. The woman nodded them in, but not a word passed her brilliant red painted lips. 'Probably can't,' Gaz observed mentally as she crossed the threshold, 'with all that botox.'

The party was as nauseatingly garish as the invitation. Large banners with video game characters in the background and bearing the legend 'Happy Birthday Iggins!' were strung every possible place. There was a pitiful stack of presents by a cardboard cutout of a rabid mongoose from the popular game, and it looked like someone had vomited confetti in the entire room. A cake sat half eaten among other snacks on a large buffet table. In a corner of the room was a video camera on a tripod, apparently to catch ever 'precious' moment of the birthday party.

There weren't many other kids at the party, only around fifteen or so, and most lounged against the snack table in boredom. Iggins was standing next to his pile of presents playing a video game as others looked on in envy.

As soon as the door was shut, everyone automatically looked up, except Iggins of course. It was like a chain reaction of widened eyes and mouths dropping in shock. Gaz wanted to smirk but she kept her threatening glare carefully in place. After everyone had taken in Gaz's presence, their gaze switched to her clothes, and finally…to Zim who stood beside her with a look of disgust etched on his green features. And then the comments began.

"Gaz! At a party?"

"And in a dress too…I wonder how much they had to bribe her…"

"I like, totally heart her dress, it's all-"

"Bet she was dressin' up for _Iggins_-" That comment got a huge laugh and a death glare.

"Why'd she bring the green kid?"

"He's so lame-"

"Bet she brought him 'cause they're goin' out!" This statement was voice by the same idiot boy who had made the comment about Iggins. Gaz's sharp amber eyes latched onto him. He would be the first to go. Zim growled deep in his throat and made as if to go toward the boy, but Gaz extended an arm in front of him to halt his angry advance. A whispered warning was all it took for him to remember the mission.

"Zim will be getting snacks." he pronounced and marched haughtily toward the buffet table. The poorly disguised alien snatched a bag of chips, sat down in a folding chair, and promptly began to pout.

The teenage girl slightly changed her expression to be more like a sneer, and began walking toward Iggins who had yet to notice her. Whispers followed her, but she ignored them. Background noise was one thing she knew how to deal with from years of video gaming experience.

Finally the heavily pimpled, greasy haired boy looked up, "Gaz," he greeted in his annoying voice, "I knew you'd come." Gaz didn't deign to answer. Seeing that she had no reaction to his comment he waved his video game in the air, "My dad got the _Blazing Mongoose 3_ game for free, it isn't due to come out for two months. It even has four levels that won't be released at all."

Anger coursed through Gaz's veins and her eyes narrowed dangerously. An arm extended and within seconds Iggins found himself pinned to the wall by a very pissed off violet haired girl. "Listen carefully;" she hissed at him, "I came here for one purpose. And that is to inflict my vengeance upon you for daring to send me some stupid invitation and forcing me into this dress. You will come to rue the day you screwed with me." Threat having been given she released Iggins's shirt and he fell to the floor.

Gaz stalked toward the chair that Zim sat in. He was munching contentedly on potato chips, as he had forgotten he was supposed to be pouting. "What are you eating?" Gaz asked suspiciously.

"Chips." came the short reply. Foolish human, didn't she know what chips were?

"I know that," Gaz spat, "but I thought human food made you sick."

Zim gave a slight shrug, "Not snacks." he informed her importantly. Then he looked around at the party, "May we begin the delicious carnage now? These dirt-children are about to make me disgorge the contents of my squeedily-spooch."

"Stomach." Gaz corrected quietly.

"Eh?" One eye squinted in confusion.

"Humans have stomachs." The girl said with unusual patience. Zim was amusing in his lack of knowledge, and when he wasn't being stupid she almost found it kind of cute. Cute in an inferior kind of pet way, she corrected herself mentally, like Gir without the piggys. "And yes, we can start now. But we need to get her out of the way." Gaz pointed at Iggins's mom who was lounging against a wall.

Zim nodded. He was unsure why Gaz didn't want the adult to be included in what they planned, but this was Gaz's mission, he was just along for the ride. A clawed hand slipped into his invader uniform and out came a device that looked like a cross between a syringe and a small microphone. The alien handed it to his partner, who took it looking slightly confused. "What do I do with this?" she asked.

With a slightly impatient roll of his disguised eyes, Zim tapped the end of the needle part, "Stick it in the back of her head," he instructed, "Use the talking device to control her."

Gaz turned the odd looking apparatus in her hands, "Will it work?" she questioned skeptically.

The alien scoffed openly, "This is _Irken_ technology. The most advanced in the universe. It was designed for use on species that actually _used_ their brain meats instead of letting them rot. Controlling a weak little human would be child's play."

A small frown crossed Gaz's face through his rant. He really needed to learn how to summarize, or at least give her a warning before he went off into a spiel so she could be prepared for it. Seeing that the human was standing still, Zim raised his hand and made a shooing motion. Gaz snarled angrily and grabbed his fingers, twisting them expertly. Blue eyes widened enormously in pain as he dropped to his knees. "Try that again." Gaz threatened. She had stopped twisting but was still holding his finger in a position that wasn't natural or comfortable.

Zim couldn't speak so he just looked down toward the floor as a way to acknowledge his defeat. It was so difficult to express emotions without his antennae visible, he made a mental note to research human facial expressions later. Gaz released the alien who was biting his lip in an effort not to make a sound. Then she walked over to the blonde woman.

"'Scuse me," Gaz asked politely, she could act when she needed to, "Could you get me a slice of cake please?" Iggins's mother gave a shrug and pushed off of the wall. She walked over to the buffet table and bent down to cut a piece of the chocolate frosted birthday cake. As soon as the woman bent, Gaz extended her arm to the woman's head which was now level with her shoulder. With a quick jerk she inserted the needle at the base of her skull. Within about two seconds the needle had actually dissolved and the remaining liquid flowed toward the prick.

Iggins's mother gained a sort of far off look and her eyes glazed over. Gaz raised the microphone like device to her mouth and murmured, "Go out the door." With no hesitation the woman turned on her heel and strode out of the door without a second glance. The purple haired teen looked around anxiously, but no one seemed to have noticed anything suspicious.

Gaz stepped quietly over to Zim who was watching her with an unimpressed look on his face. "We're ready," she told him, "Got anything good in your limitless pockets?" The alien squinted his eye at her for a moment and then reached into said pocket and pulled out a one inch long square of fabric. The scrap began to shimmer slightly and then it expanded to the size and shape of a normal handbag. Gaz smirked, "Carrying a purse now, Zim?" she taunted.

"Zim is carrying no such filthy human female accessory," he insisted disdainfully, as if it was foolish for her to even suggest such a thing, "This contains my low tech weapons. Even a little human-thing like you would be able to operate them." Gaz glared at him for the slight on her intelligence, and snatched the purse-like article from his gloved hands. The girl rifled through it looking for something that would be quiet, at least for the first shot. She found what looked to be some kind of high tech alien dart gun. Zim watched her carefully, ready to step in should she seem hesitant or need help.

Neither was the case and Gaz raised the gun and pointed it at the boy who had suggested she was going out with Zim. The boy wasn't paying attention to her, he was half turned and the side of his neck was wide open. He was just begging to be shot. Gaz pulled the trigger and with a soft _pwish_ the dart shot out and buried itself deep in his neck. Looking for the dart she realized it had actually been a very small thin laser driven spike. The spike was inside the boy's neck and the laser hadn't harmed the human's skin at all. Very slowly, as if on some kind of cheesy cartoon, the boy fell to the ground. Knees. Hands. Body. Head. A loud shrill scream echoed through the room, and the game began.

-----

When you watch scary movies, you know those real slasher films with gallons of blood and at least three insane serial killers, there are some things they don't tell you. In reality, the blonde bimbo doesn't survive and she doesn't get the man of her dreams. The serial killers aren't always caught, and there's normally no happy ending. The killers aren't always disturbed, insane, creepy adult males. And there's no way someone could bleed that much and still be alive.

The movies never tell you what it's like to be the killer. They don't say anything about the pure adrenaline rush that blasts through your system like a drug. There is no mention of the fact that you hardly ever remember anything afterward except flashes. And there aren't many movies where the killers are an alien and a teenage girl with a grudge.

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Gaz gazed at the edge of the machete with an amused smirk. The primitive human weapon was something she hadn't expected Zim to carry on his person, although it did have a kind of feral attraction that appealed to her. Looking closer at it she saw it wasn't the traditional human weapon, but appeared to be a modified form of the large broad-bladed knife. It was outfitted with a laser at the base of the handle, and she couldn't identify the metal it was made of. No matter, as long as it cut she didn't really care.

The young girl stood up from examining the machete and looked around the now trashed room. Zim had decided to have some fun with his spider legs before actually attacking the humans. "Come out, come out." she called in an almost playful manner. The doors leading outside and to the hallway had been barricaded by a certain little green alien, and the remaining party guests had holed themselves up in whatever shelter they could find.

"Zim grows tired of waiting!" The Irken announced as he lowered himself next to Gaz on his spider legs. The walls, tables, furniture, and just about everything else had been torn apart in his initial attack, but he was just warming up. Zim's advanced eyes flicked around the room searching for the tell tale flashes of heat that signaled a human was hiding. "There." he pointed a gloved hand behind the couch, and Gaz bolted for it.

There was a scream as the blonde girl hiding behind the cough saw Gaz looming over her. Gaz brandished the knife and advanced on one of the people who had made her life hell…and then a bright light flashed. A smoking hole appeared in the girl's torso. Zim stood behind her smirking and holding a deadly looking alien gun. The girl collapsed in a heap.

"Zim, you jerk!" Gaz exclaimed furiously, "That one was mine!"

"Zim jerks nothing!" he protested, "You did not designate the worm as your own kill." Zim pointed at her accusingly. Gaz scowled at him and turned on her heal, amber eyes searching for the next target. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a flash of movement. Acting out of instinct she flung the blade in the direction of the flash, and heard a strangled yelp. Turning she saw her knife had caught the arm of a thirteen year old boy.

A sadistic smile crept across her face as she walked purposefully toward her prey. The screams of Zim's newest catch could be heard from behind her so she knew that she would have this one all to herself. The boy could clearly see her approaching, but was too preoccupied with his heavily bleeding arm to flee. "Let me get that for you," Gaz offered politely, and extended her small hand to pull the machete out of the boy's forearm. He gasped with pain, staring at his mangled appendage. The boy didn't have much time to think however.

Gaz reversed the knife so that its blade pointed downward. The blade swept through the air and buried itself in the chest of her victim. A satisfying rush of crimson engulfed her hands and flowed onto the floor to stain her shoes as well. The boy stared at her for a few seconds before he went completely limp and slumped to the floor. Four down, she mentally noted, six to go.

-----

Two long sharp spider legs pierced her stomach. She tried to scream but one of the slender metal objects had pierced the very bottom of her lung, and she could barely breathe. Zim's grin stretched from antennae to antennae, his eyes narrowed sinisterly. In all the excitement his wig had fallen from his head and one contact was all that was left of his disguise. The girl stared at the ghastly apparition in front of her. Green skin. Red eye. Metal legs. What was this thing? She didn't have the time to find out, as soon as Zim extracted the spider legs she blacked out from the loss of blood.

"Zim has concluded his carnage." The alien announced importantly. Gaz didn't look at him; she was preoccupied with seeing how many parts she could tear off of her current victim before he succumbed to the pain and fainted. With a final wrench, the poor kid's arm popped from the socket and his head slumped over as he fell unconscious.

"Who's next?" Gaz asked her companion in a business-like manner. She wiped her hands off on the skirt of her dress, the blood left red streaks in the white parts but the black parts were relatively unchanged.

"Only one meat puppet remains," Zim informed her, "Zim assumed you reserved the pleasure of his death for yourself." Normally he would have slaughtered the boy indiscriminately, but as Gaz was leading the mission she was of higher rank and had her personal kills. He would not deny her that. And he was a little hesitant to piss her off again since the result was usually pain.

Gaz's amber eyes combed the room, "Iggins is the only one?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer she shrugged, "Leave him. No one would believe him anyway, and it's more torture to go through your life with this kind of memory." The girl smirked. She had once promised Iggins that she would plunge him into a nightmare world from which there is no awakening. This was merely a further continuation of the nightmare, the momentary respite from horror wasn't him waking up, but merely a slight lull in the terror she had planned for him.

Zim stared at her, his mouth hung open slightly in an uncomprehending look, "What are we doing with him?" he asked her once more. Had he heard right? She was going to leave him? Was this customary for humans? It didn't seem logical in any way, but if she said they were going to let the stupid child go then he would have to acquiesce.

"We are not going to harm him physically," she spoke slowly to make sure he heard and understood her words. Zim's face warped into a frown, but he made no comment. "Here," the purple haired teenager handed him his wig and contact, "you dropped these." The alien gave Gaz a sharp nod in thanks and replaced his disguise.

The two looked around unconsciously; now that they had accomplished what they had set out to do, they weren't sure what to do next. Zim blinked a couple times as his Irken eyes got accustomed to the scratchy contacts. As his eyes darted around the room they caught on something black in a dark corner. A flicker of light reflected off the lens of the camera, and the red 'record' light was flashing. Zim's eyes widened in shock. He had seen camcorders often enough in the hands of Dib to know what they were and what they did. "Don't forget the video!" he cried and rushed over to the camera on its tripod.

His spastic exclamation made Gaz turn and watch him dart over to the machine. Her eyes rolled, "We'll just take it with us. I'll keep it in my room." Zim eyed her skeptically, but shrugged and grabbed the camera off of the stand. He quickly figured out how it worked and aimed it at Gaz,

"Don't forget to smile," he told her jokingly. To his surprise-and her own-her lips curved upward slightly at the corners.

* * *

**Author's Notes;;**I'm SOOOOO sorry I didn't post this. But don't feel bad, I didn't post like...any new chapters of anything forever. So, I'm sorry, but you know...life. It just doesn't make room for consistent fanfic. This wasn't as graphic and violent as it was in my head. Oh well. I noticed chapter 1 had 1k words, 2 had 2k and this has 3k. Odd, eh? Can you imagine, this was suppost to be a ONESHOT! Lol.  
Um, anyone who's heard the Birthday Massacre song, kudos if you can pick out the lines from the song that I put in this chappie. Next chappie is the end, but there will be...not really a sequel but a story after this that is in the same story-verse. I dunno. W/e. I'm rambling cause it's late.  
And if you're still reading the lame author's notes then I command you: READ HOSPITAL JELLO. Because it pwns, and it should have more reviews than it has. Oh, and before you do that: Review this chappie! Or Gaz and her machete will FIND you. Wow...the caps lock makes me sound like Zim.  
Oh, and a note about Zim. I think he seems a little OOC because he doesn't have all the caps and italics...but that's kind of on purpose. I can't stand reading a story with Zim and Gir and every single word is caps or italics. So, there you go. Dib will show up in the next chapter and...maybe a little more ZAGR? Um...ya...duh.

Thanks for listening to the ramble and reading the chappie.

&&..dead chick walking..


	4. He Chases Me To My Room

**It Takes Two for a Massacre. **

**Author Notes;;** Ok…what happened guys? I had like…4 reviews last chapter! Do you not love me no more? Oh well, last chapter to this story. But I have a story that happens a couple months after this, called 'Housing the Enemy' but I'm going to write it completely before I post it. I also want your opinion on my ZaGR. I'm trying very hard to keep everyone in character…this includes Gaz whom I think has been taken way ooc too many times.

* * *

**Chapter Four;;** **Chases Me to My Room**

Dib stared blankly at the television. A rerun of Mysterious Mysteries was on, something about a demon spork. Every time Dib thought about that he had to laugh, I mean seriously, a demon spork? That's just pathetic. Mysterious Mysteries had been getting lamer and lamer since the old show host was fired for unknown reasons. It didn't matter how lame the show was, it was just background noise for the thoughts that ran through Dib's head.

Thoughts about Gaz, how she had been forced into that dress and hadn't completely freaked out. How she had sounded so defeated when talking about her missing Gameslave 2. How she had shown no reaction to Zim. Well, she wouldn't have cared about Zim zapping Dib with the laser a couple of times, but it was unlike her not to at least comment on the poorly disguised alien doused in water.

And what was up with Zim? The ray gun had been unexpected; normally it was a giant moose or a brain eating parasite. Dib shuddered…that…horrible MOOSE. He wasn't sure what had made Zim stoop to something as…uncomplicated as a ray gun. Although, perhaps the gun would have turned him into cottage cheese or something unnatural like that. Zim had also run off quite suddenly, with only a single threat and no loud rant about domination. Perhaps he had just been hurt too badly to bother.

Those thoughts and many others swirled through his mind. The other thoughts were things like: I wonder what dinner is. Why is a spork considered paranormal? And how do they make green jell-o that weird color?

But mostly he was wondering why Gaz had sent him away. Strike that, he knew why she had sent him away. She was always doing things like that when he talked too much or tried to rope her into his paranormal schemes. What he couldn't understand was why exactly had she taken his shirt? It had been pretty embarrassing to walk home in just a trench coat and black jeans, like some wannabe popular jock. He had gotten some interesting comments on his abs though…but what did that girl expect? Chasing aliens around was hard work and he had to be in shape.

And where had Zim gone? They had been too far away from his base for him to flee there. If he didn't get all that water off it would sear his skin until he looked like he had after the lice crazy exterminator had used him in that lice gun. Dib smirked, that had been so funny.

Just then, the door opened. Dib looked up; he wasn't expecting Gaz home this early, because it had only been two hours. When Gaz entered the house she normally slammed the door and shook the whole house, but this time the door was opened almost gently. But there she was. Gaz in all her evil, sullen, dark…

She was laughing! Actually laughing! Like, the thing that normal humans do to express emotions of extreme joy or amusement. Laughing…Dib hadn't heard her laugh since she was an infant and had no idea what she was doing. But here she was, laughing as though she was a normal thirteen year old girl hanging out with her friends. Gaz didn't seem to notice him, she ran through the door and up the stairs toward her room. As she ran he noticed that her dress had inexplicably changed from black and white, to black and red.

Before he had any time to think of an explanation for this odd change Zim came in. The alien was laughing as well. Not his normal 'I'm going to kill you all, obey my fist,' laugh. It was a normal laugh, and he sounded almost human. Almost. That wasn't what concerned the young paranormal investigator however. He. Was. In. Dib's. House.

Dib prepared himself for insults, attacks, and probably a robot death monkey to be launched at his head. They never came. Zim seemed not to notice Dib, and he closed the door hurriedly and ran up the stairs after Gaz. He was chasing Zim's sister! Dib's suspicious mind automatically assumed Zim was trying to catch her for some unholy experiment. Then the logical side of his mind pointed out that not only could Gaz take care of herself, but Zim wasn't behaving hostile in anyway.

Gaz…was laughing. And Zim was apparently the cause. The door upstairs closed audibly as Zim ran into Gaz's room. A silent war raged in Dib's head. His paranormal side insisted on running up there to capture Zim. His protective older brother side insisted on telling Zim to stay the hell away from his sister. The side of him that actually registered that Gaz would probably gut him like a fish if he interrupted, didn't want to move. And the last side was one that didn't come out often, his affectionate older brother side; the side that actually felt grateful toward Zim because he had made Gaz laugh, because he had made her happy. In the end the affectionate older brother, and frightened mortal side teamed up on the others. Dib sank back into the couch and stared at the television screen which was now playing the credits.

Only after five minutes of reflecting on the largely unnatural scene which had just happened, did Dib realize that Zim had been holding something in his hand. A video camera.

-----

Gaz fell onto her bed, she wasn't out of shape, but running and laughing was something she didn't do often and she was tired. It was a good kind of tired though, and she felt good, content, like she had just pulled off an extremely hard level on her video game. Her legs dangled over the side of her bed, the toes of her mary-janes barely brushing the floor. Zim raced into her room, and closed the door. With a running leap he joined her on the bed, his legs hanging freely, at least two inches shorter than Gaz's.

Zim sat the video camera on a nightstand next to the bed, the red light at the top winking at them both. Gaz smoothed her skirt, the dress was much less hideous now that the white was a rusty blood red. Perhaps if she tore it up a bit, it would actually be an acceptable article of clothing. The mary-janes were being annihilated though.

"That was most enjoyable, Gaz-human." Zim told her with a smile. He stretched, his arms over his head and gave a small grunt as he did so.

Gaz scowled slightly, "Why do you call me that?" she demanded.

Zim looked confused at her slightly hostile tone, "What?"

"Gaz-human."

"That is your species is it not?" Zim's brow furrowed, and if he had eyebrows they would be knit together in his confusion.

Gaz almost laughed at the bewildered expression on his face, but instead she spat out, "Barely." Zim gave her an apologetic look, and fidgeted with his three fingered hands. Gaz tilted her head as she watched him curiously, he was melodramatic, spastic, and not too bright, but he was something out of the ordinary to say the least. "So…why don't you do this more often?"

Zim jumped rather violently at her sudden words, and stuttered, "Do what?" after a pause he said, "You mean the slaughter?" Gaz rolled her eyes and nodded,

"With all your tech, it should be easy to take over the planet, I mean…people are kind of wimps. Humans wouldn't have a chance if you pulled out the big guns. You have enough weapons to go rampaging around the town," Gaz was genuinely curious about this. In her head she could hear her brother's annoying voice shrieking 'Reign of terror, Gaz!!'

"Your wretched, _filthy_ brother always stops me," the alien hissed with vehemence. Gaz laughed again, but not as lightly as she had done before. It was a little more condescending.

"So why don't you do that to him?" she asked impatiently.

"Do what?"

"Shoot him!" she exclaimed. Zim just stared at her and gave her a 'wha?' look.

"Shoot who?

"My brother!" Gaz's amber colored eyes were narrowing angrily.

"Ah, your brother…I do so hate him. Always ruining my plans."

She sighed in exhasperation, and grabbed a laser off the bed where Zim had set it down. Gaz jabbed him with it and then gestured toward a teddy bear on a shelf, "Pretend the bear is Dib." The trigger pulled and a streak of blue light incinerated the bear, leaving naught but ash behind.

"Oh!" Zim exclaimed and a devious smile curled across his face, "Zim sees. Genious…all I must do is turn him into a stuffed doll, and then-"

"NO!" Gaz stung. Frustrated she threw her hands up in the air, "You idiot! Why don't you get it?"

Zim tilted his head to the side and gave her an adorably incomprehensive look, "Get what?"

"You know what," Gaz replied wearily and shook her head, "forget it. You don't understand."

Zim regarded his friend thoughtfully for a few moments as Gaz scowled at the floor for no reason in particular. Then a knowing smile crept slyly across his face, "It is you who do not understand, little Gaz. Dib and I are arch-enemies, we cannot just fire a ray gun and obliterate each other. That's not how it works. That isn't in the rule book."

Gaz raised a fine eyebrow in disbelief, "There's a rulebook for this kind of thing?" she asked skeptically.

"Well-um-I-YES! Yes, there is," Zim told her defensively, "Zim is surprised you've not read it."

"I don't have arch-enemies, Zim," Gaz said scathingly, reminding Zim that no one in or out of their right mind would screw with her. Zim shrugged, unconcerned,

"You should get some. They're fun," Then as if realizing his mistake he snarled, "I mean-I hate them! I hate you brother! And I hope he diiiiiies." He drew the word 'dies' out into a hiss. The poorly disguised Irken turned, as if examining the room, in reality he was just trying to cover for his slip up.

Gaz sighed very quietly, she looked around the room again then said, "Zim?" He turned to face her. She was still looking away, but eventually she looked toward him. Their eyes met. "Zim…I had…fun," she said the word as if it were foreign to her, "This was fun. I liked it."

Zim nodded dutifully and stood up, taking this as his cue to leave. Before he left however, he turned to face Gaz once more and said formally, "Yes. Zim enjoyed the carnage greatly. It is not often that he gets to have the pleasure of doing things with one such as yourself." With this as his good-bye he began to march toward the door in his usual military manner.

"Hang on, Zim," Gaz ordered, as he looked at her curiously she gave him a small smile, "Well, come here."

"Yes?" he asked warily, unsure of her motives. The violet-haired girl gestured for him to come closer, and he did so. "There is something you wish to give me?" Zim guessed hopefully.

"Yeah…" Gaz murmured, "kind of…"

"Well in that case, _Zim_, is prepared to receive your gift. And what a gift shall be," he pronounced with a grin.

Gaz laughed a little, and brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, "You're such an _egotistical_ little bastard," she observed caustically.

Zim scowled at her, "Now Zim is not in the mood for a gift." Gaz just rolled her eyes, and caught his wrist just as he was about to turn and leave. She used him as leverage to pull herself up, this time however she didn't throw him onto the ground. They were about the same height, she was only a few inches taller than he was. The alien looked at her expectantly, "Well?" he prompted petulantly.

Gaz smirked, and angled her head downwards ever so slightly. Then planted a kiss upon his forehead, just inbetween his eyes. Zim looked startled for a few seconds, then reached up a gloved hand to touch the spot where her lips had brushed his skin. He pulled his hand down to see if there was any residue. Nothing. What was that? He told himself he would have to research it when he got home.

Until then, "I-um…Zim supposes he must thank you for his gift. And so I do. And for the wonderful entertainment you provided me. I look forward to being on a mission with you again." He nodded respectfully.

Gaz rolled her eyes, nodded and waved him out. The alien walked out and closed the door behind him. When he was gone, Gaz plopped back onto the bed, noticing as she did so, that the record light was still blinking.

-----

Dib pounded on the door to Gaz's room. Zim had left a minute or two ago, and now he was exerting his rights as older brother. "Go away." Gaz commanded.

"No, Gaz, I want to know what happened," Dib called stubbornly through the door, "Zim just left, he looked like a zombie, what's going on?"

The door opened a crack, and Dib pushed it the rest of the way open. There stood Gaz, arms crossed, foot tapping, and a video camera hanging from one of her hands. Before Dib could say anything she glared at him, and said firmly, "It's none of your business."

"Gaz, I have a right to know, I'm your brother and…" Dib continued to ramble on and on as Gaz walked over and sat on her bed once more. The creepy girl grew steadily more irritated at his ranting and overuse of commas until eventually she chucked something at his head.

-----

Dib didn't know how it happened. All he felt was something hit him in the head. The next thing he knew, he was standing outside Gaz's room. His head hurt from whatever she had thrown at him, and his nose hurt from apparently having the door shut in his face.

Bending down he picked up a small black thing off the ground, examining it he found that it has been the object that was now raising a knot on his head…

It was a video…

* * *

**Closing Notes;;** There. I finally got it up. Better late than never eh?  
I'd like to thank you all for reading my story.  
The next story I'm going to put out is 'Housing the Enemy' which will focus more on Zim and Dib than Gaz, but will feature Gir. Hurrah. 

There are a few things I'd like to say,

1-On the note of 'Gazlene' I THINK that is her name. My source is fanfic and Wiki, so it's not definite.

2-Pirate Trash Gremlins, and Blazing Mongoose are my own creations. No touchie. Or I'll feed you Super Asparagus, which is mine also.

3-The lyrics to the song 'Happy Birthday' by The Birthday Massacre are thus:

I think my friend said, "I hear footsteps."  
I wore my black and white dress to the  
Birthday massacre, birthday massacre, birthday  
I wore my black and white dress  
I think my friend said, "Stick it in the back of her head."  
I think my friend said, "Two of them are sisters."  
"I'm a murder tramp, birthday boy", I think I said  
"I'm gonna bash them in, bash them in", I think he said  
Then we wished them all a happy birthday  
We kissed them all goodnight. Now he chases me to my room,  
Chases me to my room, chases me  
In my black and red dress  
I think my friend said, "Don't forget the video."  
I think my friend said, " Don't forget to smile."  
"You're a murder tramp, murder tramp", I think he said  
"You're a murder boy, birthday boy", I think I said

kudos if you know where I put the lyrics in.

And that's it with the uber long Authors notes. All I want to say now is: thanks. I don't own IZ. Gaz is awesome. And goodbye!


End file.
